Benidorm By Heart

If you've come here from my post, you already know the story. 42, divorced, sat in the rain with a wine and a calculator, packed it all in and moved to Benidorm on my own while everyone I knew did the Madge voice down the phone.

Three years later they all visit twice a year and I can't get rid of them.

This book is everything I learned the hard way so you don't have to learn it that way.

Here's the honest truth about Benidorm. There's the version off the telly. Two streets of it. Brilliant fun, I'm in there singing some nights. And then there's the version I actually live in. The sunset end of the prom where the grandads play dominoes. The 11 euro lunch that comes with wine. The bar with the handwritten menu I will never name publicly (it's in here though 👀). The walk I nearly didn't do that ended with me having a little cry at the top of it, the good kind, the kind where you realise your life wasn't over, it was just waiting.

Most people fly straight over that Benidorm. Every single year. You're not going to be most people.

If you're coming on holiday, this pays for itself before you've finished your first drink. The towel-on-the-sunbed rule that gets people fined (ask the fella from Leeds about his Minions towel). The reason you should be ordering tinto de verano and not sangria. Why the same drink costs different at the bar than the terrace and how to be on the right side of that. The tram nobody on a package deal knows exists. Which end of which beach at which time. The stuff that turns "we had a nice week" into "we're never booking anywhere else."

If you're thinking of moving, and I know some of you are reading this at 3am, this is the book I needed and couldn't find. The padrón and why it's the first thing you do, not the tenth. The paperwork I got wrong twice. Which streets to rent on and which to avoid like the plague. The winter maths that has an entire army of sensible British over 60s living here half the year for less than it costs to be cold at home. What November is actually like when the tourists leave and the town becomes ours. It's not a mad dream. It's a spreadsheet with a suntan.

And yes. The spot is in here. Exact directions. Exact time to go. The one from the post that people keep messaging me about. I'm still not putting it anywhere public. Some things you have to come and see for yourself.

📖 Instant download eBook, read it on your phone by the pool, no waiting for the postman
☀️ Written by someone who actually lives here, not a travel writer who did 48 hours and got heatstroke
❤️ Three years of notes, mistakes, fines nearly collected, and the best decision I ever made

Whether you've got one week booked or the rest of your life planned, there's a Benidorm most people never find.

Don't be most people, love.

[Get Benidorm By Heart – Instant Download]