Before You Sign: The Honest Static Caravan Ownership Kit

There is a moment that happens in almost every sales cabin.

You've walked the park. The sun's out. Somebody has handed you a coffee and shown you a two bedroom with a decking area facing the right way, and the numbers on the sheet look manageable, and everyone in the room is being very pleasant. And somewhere underneath all of that there is a small, quiet voice asking whether you're about to make a mistake you can't undo.

This is for that voice.

Not to talk you out of it. Plenty of people own a static and love it, and the guide says so. This is to make sure that when you sign, you are signing with your eyes open, because the paperwork you are about to put your name to gives you far less protection than you think.

Here is the thing almost nobody is told

A holiday static caravan is not covered by the Mobile Homes Act. The protections that residential park home owners have over pitch fees, site rules and eviction do not apply to you. There is no tribunal you can appeal to. There is no ombudsman for the sector. You have consumer law and you have whatever is written in your licence agreement, and that is it.

Which means that agreement is the most important document you will read this year, and most people sign it without reading past the price.

What's in it

The guide. Fifteen things the sales cabin will not volunteer. How site fees are reviewed and why there is no cap. Why park age limits are counted from the year the caravan was built and not the year you bought it, and what that does to a second hand bargain. How depreciation actually behaves in the first three years. What commission the park takes when you sell, and the situation in which you owe them nothing at all. Why the "earn up to" figure in the letting brochure is not what lands in your account. And the one thing that gets people into the most trouble of all, which is being allowed to believe they can live there.

The Ten Year Number calculator. A working spreadsheet, not a picture of one. Put in the purchase price, the year of manufacture, the park's age limit, the site fee and your running costs. It tells you how many seasons you have before the age limit forces a decision, what the whole thing costs across those years, what you are likely to get back at the end, and then the figure nobody works out: what each night you actually spend there is costing you.

Some people run that number and carry on happily. Some people run it and quietly walk out of the cabin. Either way you knew before you signed instead of three years after.

The Forty Questions. Printable. The exact questions to put to the park, why each one matters, and what a straight answer sounds like. Take it with you. Ask for the answers in writing. A good park will not mind at all, and how they react to being asked tells you almost everything.

The red flag checklist for the licence agreement, so you know which clauses to find and what they mean in plain English.

The viewing checklist for the day itself, van and park both.

And if you already own one, a separate section on where you actually stand, what your options are, and who to go to when the park is not listening. Because a lot of people find this too late, and they deserve straight answers too.

What's included

• The main guide: fifteen things the sales cabin will not tell you
• The Ten Year Number cost calculator (working spreadsheet)
• The Forty Questions, printable, with what a good answer looks like
• Licence agreement red flag checklist
• Park and caravan viewing checklist
• Already own one? Your options brief

Written straight

Every figure in here is sourced and current for 2026. No claims company is paying for this and there is nothing being sold to you at the end of it. Where the honest answer is "it depends on your agreement," it says so. Where ownership genuinely stacks up, it says that too.

This is information, not legal advice, and your own agreement always governs.

Free updates for life. Site fee data, operator age limit policies and the legal position change. When they do, you get the new version. No extra charge, ever.

Instant download. Six files. £29.99.

The cabin will still be there tomorrow.